After a brief hiatus, we have… 10
Underrated Slashers Part IV: The Final Chapter! It’s the last one! Just as
much as every slasher sequel claiming to be “The Last One” definitely was. Guaranteed.
Right?
So, let me be honest. The ‘underrated’
part of this series is starting to get dubious. Some of these gems are truly
horrible in every sense of the word. Some are certainly worthwhile, but… well, we
don’t come to these movies for traditional qualities and if you’re reading this
list then you’ve probably stuck around far longer than those normies out there.
You know the formula by now:
Unsuspecting teens/brides/hikers/innocents/douchebags run afoul of a deranged
killer and an array of sharp implements. Gore! Boobs! Bad dialogue! Rip-offs of
better movies! All in a breezy 80-90 minutes or so. Let’s get to it!
10)
Don’t Go In the Woods (1981) dir. James Bryan
One of the worst is certainly… one
of the best? Shot on location in the Utah Rocky Mountains by a few friends who
doubtless thought they were doing something special, this little independent curiosity
centers on yet another group of hikers getting lost in the woods and picked off
by… you guessed it! A throwback neanderthal caveman descendent. Put a chip on
your bingo card. The main draw here is the admirable gore effects done by
people who were pretty much making it up as they went. Spears, axes, knives,
hysterics abound here. It actually adds up to something a bit more than the sum
of its parts if you can deal with almost everything else about it.
9)
Island of Blood (1982) dir. William T. Naud
Also known as Whodunit, this
slice of… uh… slicing is another entry in the pantheon of show-biz slashers alongside
the likes of Curtains (1983) and Nightmares (1980). This time out,
a group of actors are sequestered on an island to film a horror film of their
own, only to be stalked by a killer who has a fondness for choosing his methods
based on… the lyrics of his favorite song? Despite the cheapness of pretty much
everything, the picture provides some decent atmosphere, and the central conceit
offers plenty of variety to the mayhem. While much of the violence is
offscreen, the makeup for the aftermath shots holds up well, and the runtime is
short enough that it doesn’t overstay its welcome.
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8)
The Forest (1982) dir. Don Jones
Not to be confused with the more
recent Natalie Dormer vehicle of the same name, The Forest combines the
typical template of hikers getting murdered by a maniac in the woods with some
good ol’ fashioned gothic ghost story nonsense. Oh, and there’s some
cannibalism for good measure. A couple phantom children try to help and warn
potential victims but are mostly unsuccessful. One thing this film has going
for it – it’s not in the extremely poor taste of setting the entire thing in a
forest famous for suicides like that aforementioned 2017 film. Like most of the
entries on this list, there is a decent amount of the red stuff. Added to the
weirdness, that makes for a breezy Saturday matinee for slasher freaks like Yours
Truly.
7)
Slaughterhouse (1987) dir. Rick Roessler
Here’s one that ends up being
something truly special! One-time director Rick Roessler takes a few cues from The
Texas Chain Saw Massacre (1974) and Motel Hell (1980) in equal
measure to deliver a comedic slasher that doesn’t skip on the humor or the
kills. In a bid to save his meat factory from foreclosure, a slaughterhouse owner
unleashes his towering idiot of a son on the unsuspecting buyers… and sheriff’s
deputies… and random teens… pretty much anyone unlucky enough to wander by. The
gore here is positively inspiring for such a low-budget flick, and the jokes
tend to land. Well, they land if your sense of humor is screwed up beyond
repair, at any rate. I think it’s hilarious!
6)
Cemetery of Terror (1985) dir. Rubén Galindo Jr.
Rubén Galindo Jr. consistently vies
with René Cardona Jr. for the title of Mexploitation King. The Mexican director
is also famous in horror cinema for outings such as Don’t Panic (1987)
and Grave Robbers (1989). His directorial debut Cemetery of Terror
features a group of unwise teens attempting to raise the dead… on Halloween
night, naturally. Unfortunately for them, but fortunately for us, the corpse
they steal from the morgue happens to be that of a recently deceased serial
killer obsessed with Satan and the Occult! Spoiler Alert: the ritual works, and
they succeed in bringing him back to life. Lots of screaming in Spanish and
Fulci-level gore effects ensue as he hacks his way through every doomed youth
in sight while also raising some flesh-eating skeletons of his own.
Genre-stalwart Hugo Stiglitz is on-hand to do his best poor-man’s Doctor Loomis
as well. This is the first unmissable installment on this list!
5)
Just Before Dawn (1981) dir. Jeff Lieberman
After gaining some cult notoriety in
the 70’s with midnight movie hits like Squirm (1976) and Blue Sunshine
(1977), director Jeff Lieberman hopped on the early slasher boom with this entry
in the backwoods hack-em-up canon. The premise is as familiar as mom and apple
pie: A bunch of campers hiking in the woods encounter a machete-packing killer.
But it’s in Oregon this time, so it’s… different? Nonetheless, Lieberman crams
the feature with stylistic panache, aided by some quite believable effects and
a great performance from Cool Hand Luke (1967) actor George Kennedy. Unlike
many of the one-offs on this list, there’s an assured hand at the helm here
that lifts it above the standard fair.
4)
Eyes of a Stranger (1981) dir. Ken Wiederhorn
Part Halloween (1978), part Rear
Window (1954). Shock Waves (1977) director Ken Weiderhorn does his
best at a John Carpenter/Alfred Hitchcock mash-up with Eyes of a Stranger,
and it… surprisingly works quite well. A rapist serial killer is stalking the
streets of Miami and an intrepid news host believes she knows who it is… and he
lives in her apartment complex? FX Guru Tom Savini delivers some of the fantastic
gore he’s famous for, and Jennifer Jason Leigh makes her big-screen debut as
a trauma victim who is deaf, blind, and dumb. The sequences between her and the
killer at the climax are legitimately terrifying, but the rest of the picture
maintains a convincing level of suspense as well – when it doesn’t literally
copy Halloween shot-for-shot… more than once. Also of note: this is the
first of two entries on this list to feature a head in a fish tank.
3)
He Knows You’re Alone (1980) dir. Armand Mastroianni
This
is the other entry that has a head in a fish tank! That didn’t take long. It’s
also the second to boast a first-time film role for a future A-lister with a
baby-faced Tom Hanks! He Knows Your Alone follows a bride-to-be who
doesn’t want to be, stalked by a killer who kills women about to get married. It
is one of the first films to jump on the craze started by Halloween, and
many parts (especially the score) show it, including an obsessed cop as the
stand-in for a Loomis character. It’s also quite a bit lighter on the
bloodletting, but makes up for all these failings in atmosphere, style, and a
lean narrative that cuts most of the unnecessary fat that other offerings use
to appear more “serious”.
2)
Alone in the Dark (1982) dir. Jack Sholder
The first true classic on this list
flips slasher conventions upside down to feature a team of killers over
the usual solitary maniac. When their favored doctor dies, a group of
institutionalized killers led by Jack Palance and Martin Landau escape their
confinement to go after their new doctor – whom they blame for the last one’s
demise – and his family. Hot on their heels is the great Donald Pleasence! The
unique nature of the premise lands it high in the rankings alone, but it also succeeds
on pretty much every level with a pitch-black sense of humor and some reliably
excellent makeup effects from Tom Savini.
1)
Fade to Black (1980) dir. Vernon Zimmerman
Fade to Black is not only a
great slasher, but also a bona fide great film period and an ode to classic
Hollywood that trumps any modern nostalgia offering. Star Trek: Deep Space
Nine fans will recognize a young Dennis Christopher as the bullied film nut
Eric Binford, who is driven to kill by rejection while sporting a variety of
classic movie costumes. In the same way as Maniac (1980), the audience
sees most of the film through the eyes of the killer as opposed to the victims.
Moreover, we’re encouraged to sympathize with Eric, as his isolation and pain
drive him to take vengeance on those who have wronged him. The ending on the
roof of the famous Mann Chinese Theater has all the heartfelt, dramatic
gravitas of the best pictures from Hollywood’s golden years, and it’s
absolutely essential for fans of the genre.
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