10 Horror-Themed Star Trek Episodes

 

            Space, the final frontier… is freakin’ scary sometimes! Star Trek is well-known as the bright and shining vision of what humanity’s future could be. Travelling to the stars and building an inclusive society that doesn’t need money or hate. Yours Truly admits to being a super fan and having seen every episode of every series and every movie many, many times.

 

            But… there is a dark side. Not of the force (oops, wrong franchise), but of the soul. Trek doesn’t just flirt with horror, it downright embraces it. Every series has episodes that evoke any and all genres of the macabre, from hauntings to monsters to slashers. On this list, I’ve collected ten of the best offerings, two each from the five legacy shows – The Original Series to Enterprise – showcasing all the greatest thrills and chills from my favorite franchise. Honestly, rating them against each other was pretty damned hard, because there are so many that are soooo good. Anyway, without further ado…

 

­10 Horror-Themed Star Trek Episodes!

 

10) “The Thaw” – Voyager, Season 2: Episode 23

 

            Let’s dive right into the one with the clown. God, I hate clowns. Janeway and the crew happen across a group of colonists in stasis deep under the surface of an asteroid. Turns out they’ve done it to themselves in order to survive a radiation disaster. In a bid to make things less boring, they created a neural-link virtual reality they could all share while in cryo-sleep. The problem is… a sadistic clown program has made himself their captor and he literally scares them to death if they get out of line… with a guillotine. Genuinely unsettling, even if Janeway out-clowns the clown at the end.

 

 

 

9) “Doctor’s Orders” – Enterprise, Season 3: Episode 16 / “One” – Voyager, Season 4: Episode 25

 

            Okay, so… you know horror and remakes? Star Trek did it too. While in the Delphic Expanse, Archer and company have to cross a radioactive nebula that requires all of them but Dr. Phlox be placed into a coma to avoid synaptic damage. It takes days, so Phlox (who, as a Denobulan, isn’t used to being alone) must care for the unconscious crew and the ship by himself. He starts to hallucinate due to the isolation and we get all sorts of creepy happenings. Voyager did the episode first, if slightly less effectively, with Seven of Nine instead.

 

 

 

8) “Schisms” – The Next Generation, Season 6: Episode 5

 

            It seems odd that Star Trek hasn’t done more alien abduction plots, doesn’t it? That’s essentially what this episode is. Riker, Worf, Geordi, and stock crewman #7 among others are experiencing lost time and strange medical problems. They eventually figure out that extra-dimensional aliens are abducting them at night and performing invasive experiments on them! The creepiest scene of the episode involves Counselor Troi taking the victimized crew members to the holodeck to attempt and recreate their hazy memories, resulting a terrifying operating table and noises in the dark…

 

 

 

7) “Revulsion” – Voyager, Season 4: Episode 5

 

            Voyager answers a distress call from someone who turns out to be a homicidal hologram! A murderous manifestation! A piquerist projection! The Doctor and B’Elanna must fight off this psychopathic subroutine in a dark, deserted ship where the program in question has killed his entire crew and possesses a carefully-nurtured hatred for “organics”. It’s half haunted house, half slasher and it’s surprisingly intense. Featuring a typically fantastic guest performance by character actor Leland Orser.

 

 

 

6) “The Devil in the Dark” – The Original Series, Season 1: Episode 25

 

            When I was a kid, I called the silicon-based alien in this episode “The Pizza Monster”. In spite of that, this is the first episode of Star Trek ever to flirt with horror themes. What else do you call an underground creature attacking miners and acid-digesting them to nothing more than a smoking stain on the cave floor? Kirk and Spock arrive on the scene, lose a few red shirts, and ultimately find out that the creature (called a Horta) is just trying to protect her babies from being murdered by the thousands. In the end, the humans and the Horta agree to stop killing each other and work together. Friendship!

 

 

 

5) “Conspiracy” – The Next Generation, Season 1: Episode 24

 

            Here we have one of the most infamous (and most censored) episodes in Trek history! If it was just a bit better in the writing department, it might rate higher on this list… Anyway, brain slugs have taken over high-level members of Starfleet Command and Picard is the only one who can stop them, as per usual. There’s some creepiness and intrigue, but the real draw here is the climax that features a shocking amount of blood and gore! One of the best effects of the franchise, in fact. If only it wasn’t a Season 1 episode, it might have turned out a bit more solid on the story end. Still, there’s enough gruesomeness, suspense, and shock value to help it crack the Top 5!

 

 

 

4) “The Doomsday Machine” – The Original Series, Season 2: Episode 6

 

            The Planet Killer! The Enterprise must contend with a massive, ancient weapon from another galaxy that is systematically destroying and consuming entire planets. The stakes feel real in this life-or-death struggle, and Kirk’s intensity as he battles the behemoth is palpable. The design of the planet killer is simple, yet terrifying. Quite frankly, it’s hundreds of times scarier than The Death Star in Star Wars and seems nearly unstoppable. Unlike the Empire’s technological terror, this devourer of worlds seems to have a mind of its own as it carries out orders from a long-over conflict from far beyond our galaxy. Classic Trek.

 

 

 

3) “The Assignment” – Deep Space Nine, Season 5: Episode 5

 

            We finally come to Deep Space Nine! Well, it is a ranked list, so you have to wait to get to the best, right? The Assignment concerns demon possession and domestic abuse when Keiko O’Brien returns from Bajor and is not quite herself. In fact, she’s been taken over by a Pah-Wraith and her body is held hostage to make Chief O’Brien do what it demands. What follows is a superbly written and well-acted script that examines the realities of abusive relationships while also dabbling in classic possession horror tropes. Everyone involved is firing on all cylinders, and it’s thrilling to watch.

 

 

2) “Impulse” – Enterprise, Season 3: Episode 5

 

            Zombie Vulcans! In one of the best episodes of the best season of the series, the Enterprise crew happen across a derelict Vulcan ship in the Delphic Expanse while searching for the compound Trellium-D to shield themselves from crippling spatial anomalies. On board, they find that the same compound has had a degrading neurological effect on the Vulcan crew, turning them into violent, homicidal ghouls reminiscent of… well… swarming walking dead. Archer, Reed, and a few commandos have to fight to survive the night in the ghost ship, all the while trying to get an infected T’Pol to sickbay. It’s harrowing, thrilling, terrifying, and just plain fun. One of the best horror-themed episodes in all of Star Trek.

 

 

 

1) “Empok Nor” – Deep Space Nine, Season 5: Episode 24

 

            Star Trek does a slasher movie in one of the best-written, best-produced, best-acted episodes of all time. In order to replace much-needed parts on the station, O’Brien, Nog, Garak, and an engineering team must travel to DS9’s abandoned sister station Empok Nor. Once there, they inadvertently awaken a couple of Cardassians left behind for security, hopped up on psychotropic drugs to make them more hostile. Garak is affected as well, and soon, the bodies are piling up! The denouement is supremely creepy, with the bodies of the killers’ victims strung up on the derelict station’s promenade as O’Brien marches to his final showdown with a simple, homicidal tailor. He’s more than a hero, he’s a union man.

10 Underrated 80's Slashers Part V: A New Beginning

 

            Just when you thought it was safe to go back on the blog! You thought it was over… You thought the fourth installment was the final chapter… But if my slasher lists still haunt you, you’re not alone!

 

Between the release of Halloween (1978) and the end of the first slasher boom around 1984, there were literally hundreds of imitations made. Some were instant classics in their own right, like Friday the 13^th (1980), but… well… most were not. And that’s what we have here, folks! The Nots!

 

            Personally, I find the utter ineptitude of these particular films quite charming (though there ARE a few really good ones thrown into the mix). A couple films here have appeared on our list of holiday slashers, but they merit inclusion in this series too. Mostly, this countdown serves to just underscore for the umpteenth time that the slasher movie genre is probably the most endless and enduring of all. Y’all up for some good ol’ hack-n-slash? Here we go…

 

10 Underrated 80’s Slashers Part V: A New Beginning

 

 

10) Schizoid (1980) dir. David Paulsen

 

            We’re kicking things off with a little Cannon Films picture that makes absolutely no sense whatsoever. Some nonsense about cheating husbands and divorce making a killer go nuts and… um… cut out the competition? It has Klaus Kinski, so that’s always fun (read: looney tunes). The weapon of choice here is scissors, which makes things suitably bloody. At the very least, it’s 80 minutes of WTF to kill an afternoon.

 

 

 

9) Zombie Island Massacre (1984) dir. John Carter

 

            The folks over at Troma Studios picked up this regional oddity for distribution back before they were able to get The Toxic Avenger (1986) off the ground. Very little is known about the production, but Harry Manfredini literally steals from his own score for Friday the 13^th (1980) to fill the gaps, which probably means he really needed a paycheck. Essentially, a group of tourists stop on an island in the Caribbean where they run afoul of a killer, angry natives, and an oddly middle class gang of drug runners. A solid 5/10 that can be pushed to a full 10/10 with a six-pack of your favorite suds.

 

 

 

8) The Chill Factor (1989) dir. Christopher Webster

 

            For hysterical homemade horror, look no further than this weird mashup of slashing, skiing, and Satanism. A group of friends go for a winter cabin getaway, find a Ouija board, conjure some demons, and get picked off one by one. Since most slashers tend to take place in the summer, or on a holiday, this one actually offers something fairly unique in its snowbound setting. The isolation is effective, but the acting is not. A few gruesome kills make The Chill Factor worthwhile, though, especially for aficionados of bottom-barrel cinema like Yours Truly.

 

 

 

7) New Year’s Evil (1980) dir. Emmett Alston

 

            Another Cannon Films offering with all the expected trappings of hammy acting, decent special effects, and off-the-wall weirdness. It’s New Year’s Eve! And a local news anchor finds herself stalked by an obsessive killer who is calling in and dedicating murders to her! The film is an early-boom example of the formula not quite gelling yet, hamstrung by having our villain targeting unlikeable and annoying adults instead of carefree, spunky teens. Still, it has style to spare and a shit-ton of neon and lens flare, so it’s worth checking out!

 

 

 

6) Don’t Open Till Christmas (1984) dir. Edmund Purdom

 

            If Murphy’s Law was a movie, it would be this one. Literally everything that can go wrong does in this example of holiday sleaze. After his successful turn as the villain in Pieces (1982), Edmund Purdom wanted to direct his own slasher flick. He probably shouldn’t have, but since he did, here we have Don’t Open Till Christmas. Unlike most Christmas slashers, the killer is not a Santa Claus. Instead, he kills anyone dressed as Santa Claus! Ho Ho Hoooo Noooo… An infamously troubled production ensures that we get something that kinda reminds you of a plot (sorta like how seltzer water reminds you of a flavor) and a bunch of bloody Santa slayings. Oh, and a healthy dose of titties. Everything a growing boy needs, really.

 

 

 

5) X-Ray (1982) dir. Boaz Davidson

 

            Also known as Hospital Massacre, this little curiosity is a narrative mess. Essentially, it’s the tale of a woman stuck in a hospital on Valentine’s Day because no one will let her leave (?) and she’s stalked by a whiny incel she rejected twenty years ago who has decided to murder everyone in his path. The good news is, it’s very pretty to look at. The camera work, set design, and atmosphere are all top-notch, and the gore is par excellence. So while the story is like a tangled pair of earbuds, and the logic is practically non-existent, X-Ray is still a helluva fun movie that cracks the first spot in the Top 5 on this list.

 

 

 

4) Graduation Day (1981) dir. Herb Freed

 

            Halloween really did set the standard for slasher movies set on every day of celebration imaginable. Graduation Day really is the simplest of set-ups. I don’t even really need to tell you the plot, do I? A killer is offing kids at their high school graduation. Pretty much it. However, we get an early example of Linnea Quigley doing her requisite nudie bit, and the gore quotient is surprisingly high. Add to that an atmosphere of fun that many other installments here are missing, and you have a minor hidden gem on your hands.

 

3) Grave Robbers (1989) dir. Rubén Galindo Jr.

 

            Having found previous success with Cemetery of Terror (1985) and Don’t Panic (1987), Mexploitation maverick Rubén Galindo Jr. directed one of his absolute best films with Grave Robbers. Much like Cemetery of Terror, some unwitting teens accidentally resurrect the body of a serial killer who goes about slicing, dicing, and not-so-nicing everybody he can get his hands on. It’s a remarkably simple setup that happens to work very well, with the director doing his best Lucio Fulci impression with positively wince-inducing, squishy gore all over the place. An unsung classic.

 

 

 

2) Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) dir. Charles E. Sellier Jr.

 

            While it may be more infamous for the campaign of moral majority outrage waged against it by mobs of Karens who saw the poster and drew all sorts of zany and wrong conclusions, Silent Night, Deadly Night is probably the best killer Santa movie out there. Not that it’s a good movie, really, but it’s the best of its kind. Poor Billy saw his parents murdered by a guy in a Santa outfit, then got religiously abused by the mother superior at his orphanage, and finally gets forced to dress as Santa on Christmas Eve for his job at a toy store! Geez oh man… Well, he sets out to punish everyone he thinks is naughty, including skewering poor, buxom and (once again) topless Linnea Quigley on an antlers trophy. This is a truly unique slice of slasher cinema that comes complete with its own earworm of an original Christmas song.

 

 

 

1) Girls Nite Out (1982) dir. Robert Deubel

 

            Okay, hear me out: This movie is not good. It’s not even the best on this list. But it’s number one because of one thing… The killer is dressed in a teddy bear college mascot costume and kills sorority girls on a scavenger hunt using knives that they stuck in the paw like bear claws while Hal Holbrook chases them down from the comfort of the phone in the campus security office. PLUS, the soundtrack is almost entirely The Loving Spoonful. There is plenty of blood, plenty of boobs, and plenty of beer onscreen. This movie is so nutty, there is NO WAY it doesn’t take the top spot.

 

 

10 Great Modern Slashers

 

Is this blog just about slashers now? Well… um… maybe? I dunno, but it’s my page so I make the rules! Of course, I love slashers! I love all kinds of horror movies, but since that passion began when I first saw the one-two punch of Halloween (1978) and Friday the 13^th (1980), slashers have held a special place in my heart.

 

            Now, we’ve done a lot of lists on here about slasher movies from that great heyday of the 1980’s. It was the infamous boom of stalk-n-slash, after all! However, the grand tradition of a deranged killer knifing their way through a group of hapless teens didn’t die when that decade ended, no sir! The genre has soldiered on during the intervening decades, delivering homages, send-ups, love letters, and new villains to get tattooed on your neck. With this article, let’s take a look at a few of the good ones!

 

            For the purposes of this list, we won’t be including any remakes, reboots, or sequels. Michael Myers, Jason Voorhees, and Freddy Krueger never really left us, but I want to focus on the modern slasher. You know, scrips that are self-aware and hip! The Scream (1996) blueprint! So, as always, without further ado…

 

10 Great Modern Slashers!

 

10) Urban Legend (1998) dir. Jamie Blanks

 

            Any time a movie opens with Brad Dourif, I’m in. Urban Legend is generally considered to be one of the better tail-end entries in the 90’s “hip” slasher boom that began with Scream. A bunch of college teens and Jared Leto (oof, that doesn’t age well) must contend with a killer picking them off in the manner of various campfire stories á la “the killer is in the backseat!” It also takes a page from the campus slashers of old and features Robert Englund as a professor!

 

 

 

9) Laid to Rest (2009) dir. Robert Hall

 

            Gore FX guru Robert Hall graduates to director with this low-budge splatter-fest featuring a villain deserving of being a genre icon. Chromeskull is an enigmatic murderer with a, well… chrome skull mask. But he also has a video camera on his shoulder to film his kills! The narrative is lean as it’s essentially just one long chase sequence, but the violence is remarkably graphic. Effectively, the movie is just a chance for Hall to show off his practical gore effects skills. That’s not a bad thing though, because said effects are truly impressive, and the pace never really lets up. It’s a fine… uh… slice of independent filmmaking.

 

 

 

8) High Tension (2003) dir. Alexandre Aja

 

            French director Alexandre Aja became popular in the US with his ultra-gory remakes of The Hills Have Eyes (2006) and Piranha (2010). Before coming to Hollywood though, he let loose with this example of extreme horror popular in his home country. A young woman staying with her friend’s family in the country must survive the night when a deranged killer invades their home. The gore is wince-inducing here, featuring a handheld buzzsaw and decapition with… *checks notes* a bookshelf?

 

 

 

7) Hell Fest (2018) dir. Gregory Plotkin

 

            Like Tobe Hooper’s The Funhouse (1981), Hell Fest makes use of the extra-creepy carnival setting as a backdrop for a masked murderer to do his grisly thing to as many teens as possible. What makes this installment good is that it is a return to the simplicity of 80s slashers. No gimmick, no wiser-than-their-years sarcastic characters, just a creepy location and a bad guy with sharp implements. What’s not to love?

 

 

 

6) House of 1000 Corpses (2003) dir. Rob Zombie

 

            When he’s not royally screwing up the Halloween franchise, Rob Zombie actually makes some damned good movies. His first film concerns the Firefly family, a motley group who like to murder hapless passersby in the middle of nowhere… essentially The Texas Chainsaw Massacre but with neon lights and Sid Haig. Zombie creates a truly demented world as disturbing as the real roadside tourist traps it features. A harrowing work of art. Oh, and it has a host of familiar faces, including Walton Goggins, Sheri Moon Zombie, Karen Black, Rainn Wilson, and Bill Moseley!

 

 

 

5) Hatchet (2006) dir. Adam Green

 

            “Old School American Horror” is the tagline for this genuinely special homage. Kane “Jason Voorhees” Hodder plays a modern horror icon in Victor Crowley – the murderous ghost of a deformed backwoods monstrosity. The Louisiana swamps setting is inspired, and the kills are ludicrously over the top and gory as hell. On top of that, a healthy dose of irreverent humor makes the brutality a little less serious, making Hatchet a breezy, bloody ride. Cameos from Robert Englund and Tony Todd sweeten the deal, so horror junkies are sure to be in for a treat.

 

 

 

4) I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) dir. Jim Gillespie

 

            Screenwriter Kevin Williamson hit paydirt with his script for Scream, and immediately set out to write another smash with his wise-crackin’, hip teens slasher formula. The summer before college, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Freddie Prinze Jr., Ryan Phillipe, and Sarah Buffy – er, I mean Michelle – Gellar accidently run over a guy walking in the middle of the road at night. Instead of calling 911, they dump the body in the ocean. The next summer, they start receiving mysterious notes claiming knowledge of what they did and are stalked by a killer in a rain slicker and a big ol’ hook. While the gore quotient is lower here than pretty much every other entry on this list, the plot has a timelessness to it that pushes it into iconic territory. It’s just simply too fun to ignore.

 

 

 

3) Fear Street (2021) dir. Leigh Janiak

 

            Okay, so this installment is really THREE movies in one. Fear Street is a slasher trilogy based on R.L. Stine’s book series. Each installment is subtitled by the year in which it is set. 1994 is a Scream-styled homage, while 1978 is a summer camp slasher straight out of Friday the 13^th, and 1666 blends the slasher approach with good old fashioned folk horror. All three films come together to tell an effective, fun, and terrifying tale of witchcraft, serial killers, and demonic possession. Unmissable. And, for fans of Stranger Things, 1978 features a show-stealing performance from Sadie Sink.

 

 

 

2) X (2022) / Pearl (2022) dir. Ti West

 

            Ti West is a horror filmmaker who has just hit his stride. After his first hits House of the Devil (2009) and The Innkeepers (2011), he established himself as a director to watch. X and its consecutively filmed Pearl are quite simply two of the best modern movies made in the slasher genre. The first, X, is part Texas Chainsaw Massacre, part Dario Argento. It centers on the untimely demise of a group of young people in 1979 attempting to make an adult film on a secluded farm. Mia Goth plays the heroine Maxine and the octogenarian villain Pearl. Blood and boobs are the order of the day, and it is all done masterfully. The second film, Pearl, is the villainous backstory via Disney that we never knew we needed. Mia Goth reprises her role and turns in one of the best performances in the history of slasher cinema.

 

 

 

1) Scream (1996) dir. Wes Craven

 

            The only reason X isn’t in the top spot is because it just has to be Scream. It’s rare to find a movie that holds up this well after twenty-five years, and horror legend Wes Craven’s tale of horror-obsessed teens, aided by Kevin Williamson’s dynamite script and firecracker dialogue, remains as thrilling and witty now as it was in 1996. There isn’t a single weak link in the cast, which includes Neve Campbell, David Arquette, Courtney Cox, Skeet Ulrich, Rose McGowan, Matthew Lillard, Jamie Kennedy, and Drew Barrymore! The film is also bloody as all get-out, and by the end the red stuff covers practically everything. Naturally, no rundown would be complete without a mention of Ghostface, a villain that has deservedly joined the ranks of Michael, Jason, and Freddy as horror royalty. It’s a love letter to slasher movies that manages to transcend the genre to become a classic in its own right.

 

Christmas in July: 10 Holiday Slashers

 

 

            Got the summertime blues? Heat melting your brain? Must be time for Christmas in July! I gotta say, I absolutely hate the hot weather. I hate the allergies. I hate the bugs. There’s really only one thing that really gets me through the atrocious summer months, and that is the anticipation of Fall, and Halloween! In the meantime, however, let’s tide us over with a look at something completely, grossly out-of-season… Holiday Slashers!

 

            Ever since Halloween kicked off the slasher boom in the fall of 1978, holiday hack-em-ups have part and parcel of the horror genre. Killer Santas and snowmen and garden variety jilted lovers have sliced, stabbed, and shish-kabobbed their ways through every imaginable day of celebration. Some are truly godawful, like the Thanksgiving romp Blood Rage (1987) – it’s not cranberry sauce! – while others like Bloody Birthday (1981) are truly inspired. And of course, many grab at any occasion at all to set a horror film in; from the surprisingly great (Prom Night [1980]) to the unbearably wacky (Graduation Day [1981]).

 

So let’s crank the A/C and beat the heat with 10 Holiday Slashers!

 

 

10) X-Ray (1982) dir. Boaz Davidson

 

            This Cannon Films-produced slice of weirdness was also titled Hospital Massacre, and like many slasher films of the time, is set around Valentine's Day for absolutely no reason. It centers on a woman who is being stalked by a maniac from her past in a hospital where nobody will let her leave. Sure, it makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, but the kills are bloody and the cinematography echoes that of Dario Argento, plus the movie goes well with those gross candy hearts.

 

 

 

9) New Year’s Evil (1980) dir. Emmett Alston

 

            This is one of those unusual slashers that focuses on adult victims instead of hapless teens. A tv news anchor who is somewhat of a local celebrity finds herself the target of a murderous maniac in the lead-up to her much-anticipated New Year’s Eve special. The film is another Cannon Films production and has all the superficial glitz and zaniness one expects from the famously low-budget 80s movie house. It also has a halfway clever title which, in all honesty, is probably the only real reason for its existence.

 

 

 

8) Christmas Evil (1980) dir. Lewis Jackson

 

            Speaking of convenient names, here’s another one! The difference here is that Christmas Evil is actually very good. It’s not your typical slice-n-dice either, saving most of the red stuff for the very end. It centers on Harry, a middle-aged man obsessed with Christmas due to seeing his parents getting it on as a kid while his dad was dressed up as Santa Claus. Naturally, Harry works at a toy factory by day, and pretends he’s Santa by night. No possible way that could end poorly, right? The film has obvious parallels to Scorsese’s Taxi Driver (1976), but never steals outright and hard-earns its suspense. An underseen gem in a Santa suit.

 

 

 

7) Terror Train (1980) dir. Roger Spottiswoode

 

            Jamie Lee Curtis is stuck on a college costume party train on New Year's Eve with a killer who wants revenge on her and her friends for a prank gone wrong. The claustrophobic nature of the train cars adds quite a bit of tension to this one, and the gore is well-done. The film also sidesteps a number of clichés by having the murderer switch disguises regularly, adding an anything-can-happen element to the proceedings.

 

 

 

6) Silent Night, Deadly Night (1984) dir. Charles E. Sellier Jr.

 

            PUNISH!!! This loony, thoroughly enjoyable cinematic disaster sailed straight into infamy when it was unceremoniously pulled from theaters after backlash from Conservative Killjoy Karens who protested its depiction of a killer in a Santa outfit. Never mind that it was hardly the first flick to try that particular gimmick (Christmas Evil was released four years earlier, and it wasn’t the first either) but Silent Night, Deadly Night is pretty damned clear that it’s not actually Santa going around murdering half the town. No, no, that would be Billy, a young man who saw his parents murdered by a criminal in a Santa outfit as a child, was subsequently abused by the mother superior at his orphanage, and now finds his fragile mental state thoroughly pulverized with a potato masher when he’s asked to play Santa Claus at the toy store he works for. Naturally, he goes about deciding that everyone is naughty and punishes them severely with an axe, Christmas lights, a box cutter, and even trophy antlers! Naughty…

 

 

 

5) Jack Frost (1997) dir. Michael Cooney

 

            This movie features the world’s most pissed-off snow cone! That’s right folks, it’s the one with the mutant killer snowman! Not to be confused with the children’s movie of the same name (dear God, please don’t show this to your kids… without making popcorn), Jack Frost is your definitely normal example of a movie where a serial killer gets splashed with some experimental whatever and becomes a really homicidal snowman with a penchant for cringy one-liners. It has Christmas tree crucifixion. It has oatmeal with antifreeze. It has the sex scene with the most layers of clothing ever! It’s almost perfect, is what I’m saying.

 

 

 

4) My Bloody Valentine (1981) dir. George Mihalka

 

            Harry Warden was trapped in a mineshaft collapse and went nuts, cannibalizing those trapped with him before he was rescued. Then he killed a bunch of people he thought were responsible on Valentine’s Day. Twenty years later, the murders have begun again. Is Harry Warden back? My Bloody Valentine is one of the absolute best one-off slashers out there. The miner’s outfit is remarkably scary, the gore is top notch, and the Canadian-ness of the whole thing is just… very Canadian. Get your heart broken!

 

 

 

3) Friday the 13^th (1980) dir. Sean Cunningham

 

            Is Friday the 13^th actually a holiday? Well, it’s a day, and people think it means something, so I guess it counts? You know this one. A bunch of teens are trying to get Camp Crystal Lake ready to reopen for the first time in years, but someone doesn’t want them too. In fact, the don’t want it bad enough that they start picking off the kids one by one. Everything about the film works, from the score by Harry Manfredini to the famous gore effects by Tom Savini (and any other rhyme I can make with “ini”). There’s a reason it spawned an entire franchise. It’s got a death curse!

 

 

2) Black Christmas (1974) dir. Bob Clark

 

            Perhaps the best Christmas movie ever made (and one of the greatest horror films ever by far) Black Christmas set the template for the slasher format to come. This rather simple tale of a sorority house being stalked by a killer as everyone gets ready to go home for the holidays is a masterpiece of suspense and terror. Director Bob Clark makes use of killer point-of-view shots years before Sam Raimi did the same in The Evil Dead (1981), and employs what may be the first instance of “the call is coming from inside the house” plot device, now so common in the genre. Add to that some incredible performances by Olivia Hussey, Keir Dullea, John Saxon, and Margot Kidder, and you have one unmissable experience. Oh, and turtles.

 

 

1) Halloween (1978) dir. John Carpenter

 

            Of course, Halloween is number one! Did you really think I’d leave it out? Not only is John Carpenter’s defining work the whole reason for the early slasher avalanche AND the first to set the pattern for holiday-themed slashers as well… it’s quite simply one of the best movies ever made! You all know what it’s about, but for good measure let’s just say Michael Myers escapes his mental institution, puts on a Captain Kirk mask, and goes about killing some babysitters and chasing Jamie Lee Curtis. The camerawork is bar none, the music is iconic, the pacing, editing, acting, and scripting are all pitch perfect. And the atmosphere is unequalled. It’s a perfect film and deserves to top any list it appears on. Full stop.